Supreme TD Toastmasters Moments:

what about our combo girls? wasn't that cute? good things come in small packages followed by tall tales. they are so clever. and funny! i felt like i should have payed a cover charge to attend such a funny meeting.

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Would you believe a contestant burst into tears? in the contest i chaired today.
ohmigod, of all the rotten questions! a question i asked i mean. this was in the beauty pageant part, when the counters and the officials are doing all the math from the scorecards in the hallway and its the chairs job to interview the contestants...

of course, my redundancy-end-of-contract departure, means i did not get all the speech bio's in the internal mail and had had to resort to inventing questions off the wall like, and pre-decided we would all just do one big cult commercial and was asking them each things like:

what inspired you to come out to your first meeting and what was it like?
who inspires you as a great speaker and why?
and i asked her "how she thinks the club and program has impacted her life?" and, she burst into tears! and she gulped for air and she tried to speak but that just made it worse and so then i had to hug a person in front of the whole class and ohmigod the poor woman. and the poor chairperson! you can bet i will tiptoe around the NEXT questions i ask anybody in an interview in public. ack!!

oy yoy yoy. it turns out that a person who has since died invited her to her first meeting, and she was just thinking about that and i guess with contest jitters all added on top and just the right table topic for time killing added and whammo, calamity follows Madame Chair.

the truth is, i had fun though. and i did a good job, despite of the fact i doooooooooo have a list of next times... LIKE WATCH WHAT YOU ASK A PERSON etc.

Evaluation Contest Thoughts:

next time i will think of trying to suggest something less obvious, since FIVE people reviewing the same speech (albeit not in your presence) means the odds are kind of high the target speaker, the fellow toastmasters, honoured guests and judges have heard it before, by the time number four or five get going. and seriously, next time i will not miss the most important recommendation i have for the speaker, which was that her speech did not even give us one iota of emergency handling training. it only inspired us to want some. ALSO, I THREW OUT MY NOTES! duh! i needed them in front of me for emergencies! what on earth was i thinking that i'd memorized the three points, i didn't need to bring my back up pre made notes! (they take them away, while you're waiting, and just hand 'em back before you go).
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next time, i will be able to see the second hand on my watch or a clock. i think the timer did not give me a 2 min flag but i admit i had no idea how long anything would take, so i am not sure what almost barfing today actually learned me...
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I was disappointed that the contestants don’t listen to each other but sit out in yoga hall.
"what does it mean that you are a dancing girl?" she asks me, in front of the whole class...


Nov 17
You want me to evaluate you? but you're my role model for evaluations...

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i took a table topic "what are some of the wonderful times you had when you turned 16?" and talked about how i got my 365 the DAY i turned 16 and i got my liscence the day after. i told them about the time me and a carload of barn girls did about 18 donuts before the car was planted deep in a snow bank and how we then shovelled and pushed our way out, trying everything and anything to get my mom's blue honda out of the spot without having to call any parents for help! we were successful in the end getting unstuck, by stripping layters and using our clothes under the car wheels for woolen traction. i also told about how i tested my dad's blue oldsmobile to see how it felt to go 100 miles an hour.
THIS OLDEN DAYS CHATTER TOOK 54 SECONDS AND 3 UMS
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as general evaluator i got everything out of order, by not having thought 1 second ahead and then following an agenda that had mistakes in it; i insisted that the um counter be hard core and include the "so's" and all told spoke for 1 min and 31 seconds, with 8 ums/so's, about how i approved of all the goofy stunts (aka mistakes in protocol) that required double applause and while managing to throw out the meaningful suggestion that the chair and or table topics master keep a few extra questions handy for days when some speakers don't make it.

oct 14

i forgot to tell you what happened yesterday. i'm on the agenda to evaluate someone's speech okay, so i should be prepared out of respect to the key member of the club that has put in so much energy blah blah blah but i'm not okay... so i'm sitting there reading the manual on evaluating someone's speech while the table topics are going on. THE TABLE TOPICS MASTER IS SUPPOSED TO VOLUNTOLD PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ON THE AGENDA already, plus, she's my bud, so i know i'm safe to avert my eyes and try and get my homework done...except she calls on me for crying out loud. so i go up there and the question she gives me is: RED YELLOW ORANGE OR GOLD pick a colour and describe its personality.

what the^%$# are you supposed to say about that? for TWO minutes????

i survived for 39 seconds, which included clarifying how long i was supposed to try and talk and pointing out that my "bud" broke the rules. and then mentioning that that made ME see red, and left me unable to pick a colour. and who cares about picking a colour anyway when the best thing about fall is ALL the colours and how they all blend together just like the various personalities of a torture-i-mean-toastmasters club.

b r u t a l.

then the speech i evaluated was awesome. seriously, totally inspirational content wise and truly well, well delivered. with a dramatic donning of the gi to start it all off, so it was easy to enthuse off the top of my head, just referring to notes i jotted for specifics... and finally coming up with the suggestion that she could smile more for the free good endorphins and offerring one real "next time" which is that she shouldn't make us wait so long between speeches!

Oct 6

the only thing worse than being a table topics master at the cult meeting, is being the chair person when the table topics master doesn't show up.

today's learning lesson: keep a back up question or two in your pocket, for just such an occurence. also, check attendance in the room, before you begin! etc.

in truth, a heartfelt plea and admission of the predicament was a great strategy. volunteers were up at the front before i had time to thank them or introduce them. we all just gave thanks! thanksgiving is a gooooooooooooooooooood theme, that i had announced in advance. so, who needs table topics questions

sep 29

I didn't realize that we would all get the same topic and that we would be standing in the hall outside waiting for our turn to speak...it kinda foiled my plan of just speaking to what others before me had said. but anyway... the topic was tears of joy.
I said essentially that it was a timely topic for me since I had just spent all night in the hosptial waiting for my mom to wake up from an operation. And that when she woke up we ALL shed tears of joy. And that what really meant the most to me was, when I squeezed her hand, how hard she squeezed it back.
Then there was still like a minute to kill so I ummed a bit about comedy and tragedy and beauty and sorrow all blending in mysterious ways.
and then i relaxed and finished my coffee listening to the other poor saps that volunteered for the torture too.

Sep 22

so, i think my entry in humour contest was a huuuuuuuuuuuge success. especially since i didn't win and am thus done with it, and even if nobody (including ME) laughed.

also, thank GOD i drew first spot, because i got to enjoy the rest of the meeting.
all three of the other competitors were very funny !!! and, i was a good laugher, front row.

contestant #2's was called
communicating to get what you want: how i got my husband
she told some great stories about learning how to ask guys out.

contestant #3's was called
country mouse, town mouse (i think)
and she slayed us with total hick scenarios vs. problem solving with good ole country common sense (i.e. use of beer and duct tape) -- imagine a woman who can drive a tractor, and handle toronto traffic, walking away with 2nd place! lucky her the first place winner is travelling during the next phase so she will represent our club.

contestant #4's was called
looking for love in all the wrong places.
and he won with his story about accidentally taking a modern dance class (because the latin dancing class was full) to try and meet women. the hilarity flowed nicely through physical re-enacting the one session he attended! and i was especially impressed because i know this guy considers himself to be too serious.
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